Key Verse: Ephesians 4:26
Want to know a little secret? Of course you do. I am a sinner. Oh yes. Contrary to what anyone sees or thinks of me, I am so not perfect. I am actually far from anything perfect.
About a year ago one of our now grown youth students came to see us. She is a beautiful, now married, soon-to-be mother and she sought our approval of her gentleman caller. She is a deeply emotional woman who loves and wants to be loved. Her heart had been broken many times, but this time love felt different to her and she wanted to know from us if we thought he was a good guy. It was a moment of “tell me I am not just making this all up”. When I had a little time alone with her, this young woman said to me in conversation, “I want to have the kind of marriage that you and David have.” I literally laughed out at loud, just a little. I think that I have failed this young woman in some way.
At the time of this conversation David, my husband if you didn’t know that already, and I had been married for fourteen years. Yes, that is a very long time, for some not so long, but you would think that after fourteen years we would have this marriage thing down. Nope! We totally don’t have it down. We still have these spats of “I don’t like you very much”. We argue and sometimes raise our voice too loudly when trying to get a point across. We still have like another fourteen years’ worth of figuring this marriage thing out to do. Maybe by then we can be worthy of the marriage-like-yours card.
The one piece of advice I could give this love struck woman was from Ephesians 4: 26, “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” (NIV) While I still do not have even this one bit of advice down pat myself, it is the best advice I can give to any married couple no matter how long the marriage has been. There are still more days than I would like to count where I go to bed frustrated and upset with David, but that is on me. I am a bottler. I bottle my feelings up because I absolutely hate hard confrontation with anyone, even my husband. I like it to be happy and peaceful. You don’t get that from spilling all your feelings before bed, but you also don’t get that when you bottle it up.
What happens when you let the sun go down and you are still angry? You let satan gain a foothold into that very piece of you. It’s no lie that satan uses anything he can against us and marriage is an easy target for him. We were meant for so much more in a Godly marriage and we were given all the tools we need to have a successful and happy marriage. No, I do not think it will always be happy or peaceful. Sometimes it’s the hard things worked through that make the peace so much more enjoyable. One more hurdle has been overcome. Jump those hurdles together and never let the sun go down while you are still angry.
Lord, I pray for every marriage; that You will be the center of it and make it whole in Your eyes. I pray unity and love to be at the forefront of our marriages so that we can serve You as couples in love with our God. Today, we give our marriages to You. Let You be glorified even in the quiet places. Amen.
Tara, graduate of Crown College, is the mother to four beautiful children. Together, Tara and her husband, David, and their family make their home in Northwest Missouri. Tara is passionate about reaching the hearts of women and young ladies. She loves to write and teach God’s Word. God put a desire in Tara’s heart over six years ago to start a ministry that reached women. Today Tara has founded Titus II Woman Ministries and God is showing her miracles and his hand at work every day.