I married my biggest crush when I was twenty-four. Individually, we are unique, and together we are best described as quirky. He is mechanically and technically inclined – a mechanical engineer and software developer. I am more bent toward the arts. I am an introvert who has learned to behave as an extrovert. Chris is a balanced combination of introvert and extrovert.
I can get up in front of large groups and speak semi-fluidly, but I feel quite awkward when I meet people face to face. He prefers to be in the media booth behind the scenes, and he is so much better with people face to face. He has never lived outside of Minnesota, and I have moved sixteen times over the course of my life. He and I both like to travel. He studies maps and interesting historical facts for fun, and he probably knows more about most of the many places I have had to live than I do. I fill in the human side of those places for him with stories and memories. He is my absent-minded professor and has taught me a great deal about flexibility and doing things on a whim. I have taught him how to use a calendar and a clock.
We are an odd combination, but it has worked for over seventeen years. He is my guy. He is the one person, other than Jesus, to whom I can completely speak my mind and know he will love and support me, but tell me when I am wrong. We are best friends with a common passion for Jesus Christ and we have been given spiritual gifts which complement one another. We are called to serve in completely different areas of the church because God has prepared us with different disciplines, talents, and gifting. Yet, we share a passion which helps us support one another, assist even, in the ministries we have been called to.
If you are like me at all, you read between the lines written. You read all this and see theconflicts that must arise through every difference there is between Chris and I. There is always conflict in life because we all have free will. At the risk of giving you a full testimony where I don’t believe it would be edifying to you, I will say that when we were first married I was a believer, and I knew I was a sinner and needed to do something about it, but I hadn’t submitted to receive what Christ was offering, and I certainly hadn’t submitted myself to Chris in such a way as God has called a woman to do. I made my husband my all in all in the beginning and acted more like a leech than a woman of love, and this became so much of a burden for him that it threw our marriage into a lot of trouble. Throw on top of the leeching the sense of control I wanted to keep, and I have to admit there was a lot of pressure on us to break. I even contemplated suicide in the face of all I had done wrong in our marriage. I am blessed to say I was called out of the fire into the family of Christ over ten years ago now, and hubby and I have learned to grow together through our differences. To God be the glory! “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” (Ephesians 5:24) It is through these difficulties we have come through that I have come to recognize God is everything. He is the perfect formula of character and truth and marvel that holds a person together, and some people He unites with a partner to complete them further for his purposes.
Marriage is not for the faint of heart; it is not for everyone. It is a holy covenant not just between a man and a woman, but with God. Submitting was so tough in the beginning because it required so much trust and faith. Every marriage has it’s own unique formula arranged by God, and the couple has the free will to work with it or destroy it.
The Bible is the most perfect place to go for all the answers, and I had to be introduced to this passage in Ephesians 5 quite a few times before I could understand and accept it. Chris is the head of the family, and I have come under him happily now. This is good, and the marriage formula of Ephesians 5:22-33 really is a blessing for me now that I understand the joy of submitting.
As I mature in this life and run the race beside my husband, I am better able to see my place in Christ’s church, in the family of God. When I get to Ephesians 5:30 in my reading and see “for we are members of his body” to describe the relationship of husband and wife, I see that I am no longer Lorinda, I am Lorinda and Chris in Christ. The Lord – his very essence, strength, love, and Holy Spirit – is the pulse of this body He has called together. He flows through every fiber of who a person of Christ is, right down to their most intimate relationship. “For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24; Ephesians 5:31).
I married Chris because I felt like no other man could make me feel more complete. Then I found out this could only be true through Christ. Now, in Christ, we do complete one another. In this I am confident. This is where I go when Chris is on the road for work and we are both too busy to connect for more than a moment to say ‘hi’ and ‘I love you.’ Physically, I may miss him, but spiritually I still feel whole because we are one.
Dearest Lord, I love you! You are the perfect husband, and you have blessed me with a man who compliments my relationship with you. Thank you for joining us together in this race we run for You. Please help us to keep our heads up and our feet steady on your path. Bless my husband in his role as head of our household. Help him to see your example and understand it so that he may live it out for our family and to your glory. Amen.