No Shame

We were running late for school. Ben couldn’t find his shoes and Deven didn’t like the socks I set out for him. Jabez wasn’t quite ready to wake up and the baby, Lydia, was ready for her breakfast nursing. Everything was chaotic and on the way to school. I yelled at the boys about the importance of getting to school on time.

When the babies and I got back home from dropping the boys at school, we settled in for breakfast and I scrolled through Facebook. I saw several posts; judgmental posts from moms in my newsfeed about other people. I saw a couple of shared “Mommy Blog” titles about some controversial parenting topics. Everywhere I turn it seems people are shaming other parents. Breastfeeding vs. Bottle-Feeding. Public Breastfeeding or Not. Co-sleeping vs. Crib sleeping Forms of Disciplining and many more topics are buzzing in parenting communities. On this particular day it all had me so frustrated. I do the best I can. I mess up, a lot, and sometimes I do great! But the “mommy shaming” is not from the Lord!

Romans 10:11 states, “Anyone who believes in Christ shall not be put to shame.” I receive that! It may not be specifically related to parenting, but I believe it applies! As a born-again believer of Christ Jesus, I don’t need to be torn with guilt and shame for the way I parent. I make decisions every day that I feel are best for our family and every day I make mistakes as a mom, but I cannot allow other people and their insecurities or self-centered opinions to wash me in shame.

In Christ, our mistakes are as far as the east is from the west; cast into a sea of forgetfulness. Christ gives us grace!

Shame reminds us of our mistakes, Grace gives us room to improve them! Shame blames us for bad things that happen, Grace comforts us when they do. Shame causes us to second guess decisions, Grace guides us in making the best choices. Shame compares us to others, Grace gives us boldness to stand firm. Shame brings doubt, Grace brings confidence. Stop shaming, comparing, judging other women and moms. And stop allowing yourself to be shamed!

In Christ–there is No Shame! In the coming weeks, I challenge each of you to extend Grace to another parent who perhaps does things differently than you. Or better yet–allow Grace for yourself when things aren’t going according to plan.

Tiffany Heth

Tiffany is the mother to four amazing children, all God's miracle to their family, and she cherishes every moment given her to be with them.  John, Tiffany's husband, and their family make their home in Iowa, where they minister to a congregation of fellow believers.  Tiffany is not only a breast-feeding, cloth-diapering mother and a pastor's wife, but she takes great joy in nourishing her family with the wild game that they have been fortunate enough to harvest.  "How great is the Father's love for us that we shall be called children of God, for that is what we are!" 1 John 3:1

Tiffany is the mother to four amazing children, all God’s miracle to their family, and she cherishes every moment given her to be with them. John, Tiffany’s husband, and their family make their home in Iowa, where they minister to a congregation of fellow believers. Tiffany is not only a breast-feeding, cloth-diapering mother and a pastor’s wife, but she takes great joy in nourishing her family with the wild game that they have been fortunate enough to harvest. “How great is the Father’s love for us that we shall be called children of God, for that is what we are!” 1 John 3:1

2 Comments on “No Shame

  1. Very well said! God bless my sister and young mothers that struggle with schedules, children and adults. May you grant them the wisdom they need and the knowledge on how to use the wisdom each and every day. Amen! Bless you sister, and keep on keeping on!

    Like

  2. Good word, Tiffany! If I could add… many times mamas feel judged because of a comparison they themselves have put on them. If a mom is happy with their decision to be a working mother, a stay at home mama who is struggling financially will heap a load of guilt upon herself for not adding to the financial needs of her family (the working mom did not do that, the mama did it to herself). We sometimes fail to see ourselves as individuals who are loved by the God who created us to be individuals. Shame can come in so many different forms, and for me, many times I heap it on my own head, no one had to do it for me!
    Thanks for reminding me that NO shame is Godly!
    God Bless ya, hon!

    Like

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