With four kids running around my house, it’s almost a daily occurrence that someone is unhappy about something or someone at least one time per day. Most times, regardless of the context of the situation or the people involved, it comes down to the same underlying principle. . . . I didn’t get my way.
As a mom, I consistently hoped that my children would someday grow out of this, but I’m not sure they will. I’m not sure that I have. I’m not sure that many adults do, for that matter. Selfishness is a nature issue. It comes right along side with sin and that sin is all around us. We believe we deserve things, to be happy, to have the “simple” things we want, down to silly things like we deserve to pick the movie or get the last cookie. The fact is, we are selfish by nature.
Each of our levels of selfishness and points of growth are probably different. There are days when I feel I’ve really grown, then there are days where I reflect on the day and realize I did a lot of pouting, if to no one else, God. God, why didn’t that friend ask me to go get a pedicure with her? Why did she choose that other friend? God, why is everyone annoying me today? God, why didn’t you answer my prayers and heal my friend, my grandma, my uncle . . . ? I end up doing a lot of pouting to God. Now before you gear yourself up to read about how this isn’t okay, take a look at what the David wrote in one of my favorite verses, Psalm 56:8.
“You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?”
God listens to my pouting and my crying, and frankly, my whining. He cares about my feelings and the way things and people make me feel, even when those feelings seem immature and all about me. But, just like with my own children, He doesn’t want me to stay there. Feelings are just feelings, it’s what we do with them that matters. When I stay in that spot of crying, whining, pouting, or complaining, I begin to slowly doubt that God is who He says He is. I begin to slowly, subtly believe the small lies that maybe He doesn’t care about me and everything that goes on. I begin to slowly fall into the trap my children do when they are convinced that they never get their way and that everyone is out to get them.
It’s in those times that I need to read what David wrote before verse 8. I need to remember that he wrote this after being captured. He wasn’t whining to God that he didn’t get his way. He was declaring that no matter what happens, he knew he had given control over to God. He knew that he could trust God, NO MATTER what the outcome was. He knew God wasn’t just the super hero that would come in at the end and make a happy ending. He knew that he gave control to God and that he would trust God, NO MATTER what happened.
“Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God (I will praise His word), In God I have put my trust; I will not fear. What can flesh do to me?” Psalm 56: 3-4
One of my new favorite songs is “I Will Trust in You” by Lauren Daigle. There are two parts that get to my core and remind me of my God who I can trust. The first part says,
King of the fight
No matter what I face,
You’re by my side”
NO MATTER what I face, He is by my side. From the small things like my children arguing and my never ending to-do list not getting smaller to friendships changing or ending and my uncle dying from cancer, He is by my side. He will not leave me nor forsake me, even when I doubt, cry, pout, and whine. (See Deuteronomy 31:6)
The second part of the song is a daily reminder for me. It’s the reminder that even when I don’t get my way, I can and will still trust Him and who He is.
“When you don’t move the mountains I’m needing you to move,
When you don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through,
When you don’t give the answers as I cry out to you,
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in you.”
Dear God, thank You for who You are. Thank You that You are a good Father that loves us, cares for us, and guides us even when we falter. Thank You that we can trust Your guidance and plan, even when we don’t get our way. Help us to give up the control of having to have everything our way and trust You to guide us. Thank You that You have good plans for us. Thank You that You love us. Thank You that we can trust in YOU!