Something Beautiful

We have been studying the book of James at our church on Wednesday evenings for the last several weeks. Something that really struck me was James chapter 5, verses 10 through 11, “Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.”

We all have faced trials and suffering, but we tend to get impatient to see God work in those times. We like to take matter’s into our own hands; filling those voids in our lives with other things, rather than patiently waiting on God’s provisions. We get antsy trying to figure out what’s next for us, instead of seeing where God is taking us.

Too many times in our lives our impatience in suffering leads to greater loss, to deeper heartache, and further suffering.

In 2013, I became pregnant for the very first time after many years of infertility. My due date was December 29th, 2013. Doctors told me that I would likely never get pregnant. And then I did. It was the most exciting, nerve-wrecking time. We waited twelve weeks to make our news public. I created the sweetest video to share with our church, and on Father’s Day, as part of his sermon, John, my husband, shared the video. I then posted the video on Facebook that afternoon. Friends and family from all over the world rejoiced with us. It was truly a high point for us.

Two days later, on June 18th, at our scheduled OB appointment, we were informed that our baby had died. It was likely her heart stopped beating two weeks earlier, but my body showed no signs of miscarriage. I felt as if everything came crashing down around me. It was truly a low point for us. That afternoon, as John called our families to let them know, I just cried and sang the words, “Blessed be your name in the land that is plentiful…and when I walk through the wilderness…he gives and takes away…”

I couldn’t even wrap my mind around what was happening. I underwent a D&C that day and the next morning my very first thought went to my empty womb. I sat in the bathroom floor and wept. I was suffering. I couldn’t understand why I was allowed to become pregnant only to have that baby taken from me. I was so content with our little family: John, myself, and our two sweet five-year-old adopted sons. And now I knew the worst kind of pain.

Several days later, I was informed that our baby was a girl. We named her Hope Shalome. I was also told that she died of tiny blood clots that course through my veins undetected due to a blood clotting disorder called MTHFR.

I wanted so badly to do something to feel better. To ease my pain. I created a scrapbook in her memory. And I cried. But I didn’t feel better.

I decided that in the midst of my suffering there was an undeniable peace that I couldn’t understand. Deep down I had this remarkable sense of stability.

Several months later, without trying, and much to our surprise, I became pregnant again. Because of my miscarriage and diagnosis, my doctor was able to give me a very simple course of treatment for the blood clotting that saved our baby. His due date was June 18th, 2014: exactly one year to the day that we lost baby Hope.

I persevered. I didn’t turn my back on God. I didn’t take matters into my own hands. I waited on God. And look what he brought about! He is full of compassion and mercy!

He saw me and knew my hurt, but used that loss for something good. Because He is good.

I would implore you, as you consider your own sufferings, to be patient. Wait on God. Seek his face. Draw near to him. And see what he brings about!

God, there are times that I want to give up or blame You because I don’t understand this pain and suffering that I or others must walk through. I trust You. I give you this situation and trust You to guide me through. Use this for something more amazing than I could ever imagine. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Tiffany Heth

Tiffany is the mother to four amazing children, all God's miracle to their family, and she cherishes every moment given her to be with them.  John, Tiffany's husband, and their family make their home in Iowa, where they minister to a congregation of fellow believers.  Tiffany is not only a breast-feeding, cloth-diapering mother and a pastor's wife, but she takes great joy in nourishing her family with the wild game that they have been fortunate enough to harvest.  "How great is the Father's love for us that we shall be called children of God, for that is what we are!" 1 John 3:1
Tiffany is the mother to four amazing children, all God’s miracle to their family, and she cherishes every moment given her to be with them. John, Tiffany’s husband, and their family make their home in Iowa, where they minister to a congregation of fellow believers. Tiffany is not only a breast-feeding, cloth-diapering mother and a pastor’s wife, but she takes great joy in nourishing her family with the wild game that they have been fortunate enough to harvest. “How great is the Father’s love for us that we shall be called children of God, for that is what we are!” 1 John 3:1

3 thoughts on “Something Beautiful

  1. God is SO good! So encouraging to see how God is always making things new and always writing our story. Beautiful testimony on staying faithful to God because he always faithful to us. Thank you for sharing this.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. God is so amazing. I have been in your shoes. I was told I could not have children because of medical issues. I married into a ready made family. My husband and his son who was 6 at the time. I was content with just the 3 of us. 2 months after we were married we had attended a Church family camp and the pastor and his wife prayed for healing in my womb. This was July of 2000. That September we found out I was pregnant. What a joy and thankfulness I felt that God had answered my prayers. We told our family they rejoiced with us. I had a very rough pregnancy with her but the Lord brought me through it and our precious daughter was born June 5th. We felt so complete with her. We continued to pray and leave it in Gods hands if we were to have more children. 2 years later I became pregnant again. Again so excited we told family and church family right away. at the 12 week mark I started cramping and went straight to the hospital. I lost our baby on June 10th 2003. Devastated and not knowing how to function I had to give it all over the Jesus because I finally realized that he must have a bigger plan for me. And boy or boy did he. Late that September I became pregnant again. Scared, worried, nervous, we began to pray for our little one. Praying for God’s protection over them. We almost lost the baby several times, so I was on bed rest the majority of my pregnancy. The first ultrasound showed a due date of June 15th. (My mothers Birthday) The end of the pregnancy was nearing and we were having stress tests and ultrasounds done every couple of days. Finally on June 9th I was induced because the baby was in distress. In Labor for 17 hours the Dr. finally said the baby is stuck in the birth canal. So into emergency C-Section we went. At 11:58pm on June 9th the Dr. asked my husband “Do you want the baby born on the 9th or the 10th since we are so close to Midnight. My husband says Lets do the 10th. So at 12:04am June 10 my beautiful baby Boy was born with a cord wrapped around his neck and blue. Not breathing. The Dr.s were amazing at how fast they got that cord off and got him to start breathing. When I first heard his little cry I was praising Jesus. I had no idea what time he was born or on which day until I came out of ICU 4 hours later. When my husband told me that our son was born on June 10th I cried and cried. He had no idea what was wrong just thinking that it was hormones. When I told him that this is the day we lost our little one the year before we realized this was the bigger plan that God had for us. My 2 Miracle babies are my world. I thank the Lord everyday for healing my womb and allowing me to be a mother to the most beautiful children. I am so blessed.

    So my advice to anyone who is struggling with this, God has a plan. He has our days lined out. Never lose Faith in that.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.