A Mother’s Boy
“Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children are a reward from him.” Psalm 127: 3
“Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right.” Proverbs 20:11
My third child, my youngest son, asked me to write about him today. I was surprised by this. Two of my children have social media accounts on the sites where I post Titus II blog entries, and he is one of them, but none of my children have ever really responded or said much about my writing. In fact, I assumed they really didn’t care about what I’ve been doing on my laptop lately. Other than their father – who has to read my entries before I submit them or I won’t untie him (semi-joking, of course) – I assumed my family just hasn’t been interested in this part of my ministries. So, I asked my son if he had anything particular in mind he wanted me to write about. “Not really,” he answered. I asked him if he had a specific Bible passage or verse he’d like to challenge me with. “No.” That came out in Fozzie Bear’s voice with a silly little chuckle afterward. Then he hugged me and gave my cheek a sloppy kiss before he walked jauntily away. That’s when I understood what he was trying to tell me. Here is the real challenge I heard my soon to be fourteen-year-old son extend to me: Show me what you love about me, Mom. What makes me unique and special? What do you tell others about me?
Well, my boy, let me tell you. You, child, are special because you are mine.
This is the child who has his dad’s shaped eyes with my color shining through, and most of the time there is a smile in them. This is the child that has my sense of humor, but he’s quiet and shy. This is the child most likely to respond to my voice, to respond to the feelings in my voice. This is the child who spends a great deal of his days entertaining me and trying to find that voice, joke, or action that will get the biggest reaction out of me and his siblings. This is the child that I have spent the most time praying over and fighting worry over because he seems fearless at times, and he is so much like me that I think of those things about myself that I don’t want him to repeat. Things that, thankfully, he never saw me do, but I have worried he may have the propensity to do. This is the child with two older brothers and a younger sister that I would love to see relax and enjoy who he is more, without thinking he has to do anything to win my attention or heart. This is one of the four children that I am not a friend to. I cannot be their friend right now because I am their parent, but I sure am looking forward to being friends with the man I see this child becoming.
Let me tell you a little more about this young man. This young man, when he was just beginning to walk, stood in the hallway without a stitch of clothing on his little body, only a big smile on his face, and challenged both of his older brothers to come and get him. This young man listens to his sister’s jokes and gives her the punchlines that make people laugh with her, not at her. This young man is a good friend to the bullied and the bully – he speaks truth into the hearts of both and laughs when people call him names or try to coerce him into falling. This young man is courageous and humble; an encourager – he is my own David standing against his Goliaths.
Toby, I am honored to be your mom. You were given to your father and I fourteen years ago as a gift to love. You have made this very easy, and you are special in all you are, and I am every bit as proud of you as I can be, but I still see you as my little boy even though I have to look up just to see your face.
Heavenly Father, when I looked into my son’s eyes this morning and heard his words, I wasn’t at all sure of how to assure him of my love any more than I already do. I thought of You then, and I thought about your Word, and I realized that sometimes I still ask You these same questions when You have proven so many times how deeply You love me just for who I am, who You have created me to be. I ask that You continue to give me ways of loving my children so they know my love with confidence as we can know yours with deep confidence. Help me to be a mother whose children arise and call blessed. (Proverbs 31:28) Amen.