It’s a slow walk. Feet-dragging-in-the-sand kind of walk. Slow. Weary. Hard. At times it feels like I’ve stepped into hole of mud, the kind of mud that sucks your feet deeper the more you struggle to get out. This mud holds on to my feet and I can’t take one more step. I cry out in desperation to get loose and move on, but I can’t go anywhere.
Have you felt like you are drowning with this season of life you are in? Like you are stuck and you can’t see a way out? You are not alone, friend. I am going to speak frank with you today from a place deep within that just cries for more.
I have been walking this new season for nearly six months now. It is a dry place where I don’t feel that I hear God’s voice much at all, but then there are glimpses of His face leading me through this desert. There are snippets where I hear his gentle whisper; all leaving me wanting to see more and hear more, but they are just moments of a clearer picture. This season is a lonely walk and I am left parched most days for more of Him.
Last night I was having a conversation with one of my dear friends who also happens to write for Titus II Woman and she reminded me of an article she had written. She had walked this path not long ago herself and her encouragement meant a great deal to me. Her walk was because of different circumstances and ministry, but we relate well during this season. I went back and read her article “Benched” and I prayed again through the feelings I was struggling with. I said to God, “I just need something. I need to be used again. I need to see you and hear you. I need to have just a glimpse of the path you have for me.” Do you see what I did there? I made this season all about me and what I need. So ashamed of myself, I had to repent.
This isn’t just about me. There are many people who will walk this path after me and I will be able to use the desert walk to encourage other women who will face the same feelings of sunk in mud that I have right now. The fact is that this life isn’t about me at all. I am just a vessel in this life to be used for a great purpose and I may not be able to understand that right now. God often keeps the full picture from us because if He showed it all to us we would never say yes at the start. The things we have to walk through to get to the bigger picture are hard, ugly, gritty, and sticky. Who would willingly go through all that even with an amazing gift at the other end? Not many.
After talking with my friend and sister in Christ, I got on Facebook to check out some messages and there was this quote from Christine Caine (you may have heard of her) and she said, “God’s not calling us to “our next” but rather to “HIS NEW”. Now isn’t the time for makeovers, it’s time for TRANSFORMATION!” This applies to everyone. Those who are walking in the desert, parched for more of God. Those who need to make a big decision on what to do next. Those who are seeking a deeper relationship with Him.
Here’s the bottom line…don’t waste the season of life you are in now because you want the next one to come. God has a purpose in this season and you need to understand it before he will show you the next season. There is goodness in every season, but it is up to us to really see it and live it out.
Isaiah 40:29 says this: “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.“
I am clinging to this promise because I am one who needs His strength and power in this season. You are not alone.
Lord, grant us the strength we need to get through his drought and make it to the other side where you are waiting with greater vision. For those who need to make a life decision, I ask that you will guide them to make the right choice that will bring more glory to your name and hearts to your kingdom. Bless this road we walk, even in the darkest of times. Amen.