1. Guilt – that you didn’t enough. It’s ok if you don’t bake cupcakes for the kid’s school fundraiser this time. It’s ok that you didn’t order from scholastic book order this month. It’s ok if you just could not make it to that party you were invited to in an attempt to get you to buy something. And it’s ok if you just needed to take some time for you. (Hebrews 10:22)
We are in such a rush to help everyone else besides ourselves. We make sure that our husbands are happy and have what they need to succeed. The kids all need something different and who do they run to? Yep, mom. A friend just needs one more person to order something or a someone to talk to on a hard day. While all of this is fine and good, you have to take time for you. You must be filled in order to fill others. Stop waving the guilt banner because you don’t feel that you have done enough yet. That guilt was never meant for you to carry. It’s not God speaking to you, it’s Satan speaking to you.
2. Shame – because you don’t measure up. There is no shame in coming from a different background than other women. Everyone makes a mistake and that does not have to define you. Everyone grew up in a different home and that does not have to define you. (Hebrews 12:2)
Christ died on the cross to take that shame and bury it. You have a second chance with him and then a third and then a fourth. Learn and move on and don’t let shame rule over you. You were not meant to carry that shame. Yes, you will need to deal with the consequence of life, but shame does not make you who are you. God makes you who are if you will let him heal those spaces. Life sucks sometimes, but you have a chance to change life and make something beautiful come to life. Shame is not from God, it’s from Satan.
3. Comparison – of every other woman who looks to have it all together. Women compare themselves a lot and this is where that backlash happens. Out of comparison comes envy and greed. (Galatians 6:4)
You were designed with specific gifts and that may mean that you just are not the baker that Jane is. You may not be able to write like Lisa or cook like Sara. God gave us each something special and sometimes we get several gifts. Those gifts are what we are to use to better the world around us. You wouldn’t open a bakery if you don’t feel that you can produce the most moist and flavorful cakes available, so why would you compare yourself to a woman who is obviously meant to be a baker? Seriously, if we accept each other for who we are and what our gifts are, there would be a lot less gossip and envy.
4. Worry – about things you have no control over. Women worry more than any other species on the planet. It’s just a sin. Really. God doesn’t want us to worry. He has a plan, but he asks us to trust him with his plan. Worry causes wrinkles, at least that’s what my grandma always told me growing up. (Matthew 6:25-27)
I am the epitome of what a worrier looks like. I keep myself up at night thinking about things that I have no control over, like how much it is going to take to ix our only family vehicle and when my background check will be complete so I can start my new job. God asks for us to come to him and put our worries at his feet. He knows our hearts and with that he will form the perfect plan for our lives. It doesn’t always play out the way we want, but it is what’s best. And then what was all that worry for? It did no good, but you got a new wrinkle.
Ladies, let it go. Take the things that we were never meant to carry and send them packing. I understand it is easier said than done, but as I have said so many times before, this is a lifelong process and you have something to strive for. God made you just how you are supposed to be. Embrace that and let go of everything else that hinders you from doing so.
Lord, my life is not my own. Help me to remember that I am living for You. I love those around me, but they do not define me in You. Bless the lives of the women who are so different from me because they can give something I am not able to and I am thankful that they are so great at being them. Amen.