I woke up this morning, a crisp December 19th here in Metlakatla, Alaska, and I looked at the tree in my living room. Something is missing, do you see what it is? If you said no gifts, you would be right.
Christmas this year doesn’t mean the same to me as it has in years past. I’m struggling this Christmas so much. You see for the past three Christmas seasons, there has been no children in my home.
Everywhere else we have lived we have had at least one child, several grandchildren, and some adopted children in our home to share this holiday with.
I knew that one day my children would grow up and leave home, this is natural right? But it doesn’t take the hurt away of it just being the “two of you”.
So this morning I cried out to God and asked Him how long it would be before I could be around family once again. You see, God called us to Alaska almost 13 years ago. And during those years our family has grown with new life and we have lost life of aging parents, one of which passed on this year; Poppie, I will forever miss you!
As I sit here and write this article, I have tears running down my face. The hurt is deep and it is real; so real to me. I need a word from God, so I open biblegateway.com and look at the verse that happens to be the verse for today.
“And you, my son, will be the one who speaks for the Most High. For you will go before the Lord to make the way ready for Him. You will tell His people how to be saved from the punishment of sin by being forgiven of their sins. Because the heart of our God is full of loving-kindness for us, a light from heaven will shine on us.” Luke 1:76-78 (NLV)
Ok, like wow, God knows my broken heart. He knows how much I miss the excitement and laughter of my children and grandchildren. He has given me the best gift ever! We are forgiven because of Baby Jesus.
But the best part is “Because the heart of our God is full of loving-kindness for us, a light from heaven will shine on us.” You see, God loved His Son so much that He knows my heartbreak right now because Matthew 27:45-46, it says, “Now from the sixth hour darkness fell upon all the land until the ninth hour. And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” that is, “My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?” At this moment God did not turn away from His Son, but He could not look on sin so He looked away for a moment. His heart (God the Father’s) was broken in a deeper way than mine is now. He understands my hurt.
And a light will shine on us, on me! A bright light of peace that comes from Jesus in moments like these when I cry out to Him for help! Did I instantly stop missing my children and grandchildren? No, I miss them more than words could say and if I was granted just one wish this Christmas season I would wish that we could all be together in one place with laughter, gift exchange, watching football, eating good food, and watching a favorite Christmas story at the close of the night.
But what I do have is peace, and that is so wonderful! So if you are like me, an aging adult that is far from family, let the light shine on you!
Momma/Nana loves all of you!