Hesitant Steps of Obedience
The storm raged on the waters shortly before dawn as the seasoned fisherman and disciples of Jesus fought to keep the boat a float. They feared that they would not be able to keep it afloat. Then they looked out into the waters and saw a person walking on the water. They did a double take thinking for sure they had seen a ghost. But it was Jesus who was on the water to them. Jesus told them not to be afraid. 28 And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” 29 He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. I can just see Peter jumping out of the boat getting into the water excited and running on adrenaline to reach Jesus as the storm raged around them. As Peter began to walk on the choppy waters he had his eyes literally on Jesus anxious to make it the short distance to him. But then he hesitated, he saw and heard the wind around him and started to fear and that is when he started to sink. 30 But when he saw the wind,[a] he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” 31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” 32 And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33 And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
How often are we like Peter? God asks us to move somewhere, to pursue goals, to trust him in hard situations, to talk to the mom struggling on facebook, etc. Sometimes we start to run for those things that God asked us to do with our eyes on the goal, with our eyes on Jesus. But then our emotions, thoughts or fears, other people’s thoughts on the situation we are trying to accomplish cause us to hesitate. Our hesitation begins to cause us to sink. We try to keep going but if we aren’t careful we can let that uncertainity take over our thoughts and cause us to be too afraid to trust God in faith that we will have breakthough, that we will overcome or accomplish whatever it is He is trying to do in our lives! When I have hesitated, or been uncertain God often uses Proverbs 3:5-6 to remind me to trust Him with everything! It says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
About six years ago I received a package in the mail for Christmas from my dad’s birth mom, my grandma whom I had met once back several years prior. She and I had been and still communicate via email but at that point she wanted to send us a package for Christmas. I was so excited to open it and see what was inside. I opened it to find a couple shirts for Joey and I, a Christmas outfit for Joelle, and then a small box that was addressed to my aunt. All it said was, “to Tessie, from Santa” I hesitated as I knew my grandma wanted me to give my aunt this small box but I wanted so badly to see what was inside. I didn’t open it but the ladies at the church we were at in Iowa, my husband, and I covered the situation in prayer before we went to Missouri to visit for Christmas that year. See at that time my aunt had not seen or talked to her mom in over forty years when her mom and dad got divorced. I was hesitant and fearful because I didn’t know what was inside the box. I had been praying and felt like I should defintley give it to her. All that weekend I kept stalling and praying asking God to help me somehow give it to her, knowing she might be confused and that it could start something. So when I went to her apartment I hid it in my coat, went to the restroom and then quickly put it in a place where I knew she would see it sometime. I hesitated; I let the fear get in the way in that situation. If I could go back to that day I would tell myself it has been a long time, you need to be completely obedient and trust God and just give her the box in person. Since then God has opened up different opportunities to talk about her mom, but I wonder sometimes if I had just given it to her if maybe it would have brought closure and healing to hurt that happened so long ago for both of them. I just pray that God will give me more opportunities to share with her and that I will run full force to be obedient.
Jesus, I pray for everyone reading this article that if they are struggling with hesitation that they will know that no matter what You always are carrying them through. I pray that all fear will be gone and that they will step out in faith and watch what You do, no matter what the situation, goal, or circumstance might be. I thank You for Your Word and reminders to trust You! I thank You for opportunities to share with those around me and with my family! In Jesus Name, Amen.