The answer was NO! If she asked me again it would be clear she needed an intervention.
My daughter was preparing to go out of state for a Christian camp. One of the requirements was that there were to be no cell phones on this trip. That didn’t go over well.
I explained it was for the purpose to remove all distractions.
She understood but also had this ‘streak’ with Snap Chat that she hated to break.
“OH GIVE ME A BREAK!” I said out loud. “Are you turning into that girl we watched on 20/20 who needed parental intervention because she was addicted to her electronics and social media?”
I was quite concerned with this petty streak mentality. I’m part of her snap group and I didn’t see the big deal.
Then from my mental pause box I remembered how I had a ‘streak’ once on My Fitness Pal. I had to go away for a women’s retreat; leaving my phone behind. I was not able to enter my daily menu and exercise accomplishments.
All that consistency down the drain!
I know what bummed out feels like. It isn’t life altering but it mattered to me.
Out of no where the ultimate card in the world of parenting gets played. She asked if “I” would keep her phone for the week and run her snap streak with her group.
Thinking about how ridiculous that was and judging her for clearly being addicted to her phone, I get into my car and drive to the grocery store. Somewhere between the cheese and the peanut butter it dawns on me how significant this bizarre opportunity is!!!!
SHE. JUST. ENTRUSTED. HER. 41. YEAR. OLD. MOTHER. TO. RUN. SNAPS. ON. HER. BEHALF.
I realize how I just lost a handful of you on that but try and hang with me.
In that moment of contemplation I see the diamond in the rough of this request.
My heart beaming!
A) She was not embarrassed of me.
B) She was trusting my judgement with her friends.
C) Clearly she was confident in her choice friends to ‘snap’ worthily of parental eyes.
D) There were no rules given to what I could snap on her behalf. If I wanted to evangelize, be serious, be silly; I could do whatever I wished…only rule…don’t break the streak.
Do you get the weight of this for me as a mom!?
How many kids, much less an 18 year old, hand over their phone to their parents and say: “Here, take my phone. Run my apps. Go ahead read my texts for a week. In today’s culture – RARE!
I went from judging her as addicted to marveling at what a fine young woman she has become; bearing fruit of exactly what we wanted to see with this privilege of phone ownership.
She had taken to heart all the harping about the digital age and shown she is making good choices and is an open book with nothing to hide.
Now that is what I’m talking about!
THAT is behavior I’ve wanted to see bloom in her and it was humbling to take on this seemingly trivial act.
She invited me into her world and I was honored to oblige.
I relished this moment to be given a fly on the wall position in the life of my 18 year old daughter and given such a security clearance most parents only dream of.
Well, I’m happy to say that I kept her streak alive. Her friends humored this old gal by streaking along. I must say their pics were a tad on the boring side if I do say so myself, no offense. Clearly I was enjoying myself more than they. I had high expectations I guess.
Moral of the MOMent? There is always wisdom for me to glean from the scriptures. I get prideful and think I know all without hearing the whole story sometimes. This time God used a crazy perspective to teach me and bless me. At first I was freaking out and then I saw this as a window of opportunity to look into the life of my daughter.
Proverbs 18:13 “He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him.”
I also learned that all my warnings, preaching and standards regarding media, phone use, internet etc… did get taken to heart. We give the Lord praise for that. Tracy and I will still press hard, create boundaries and hold high standards for one another and the other 3 kids coming up in the ranks because this issue is no small matter.
Father, this is indeed an age of opportunity to point our kids to You in each and every facet. Your Word is true and gives wisdom. The world thinks it is a crazy perspective. We thank you for it. Help us as parents and families to stand strong in the face of culture and choose a narrow path that leads to life and not destruction. Give us the discernment to know the difference and desire to choose a way that brings joy and honor to you. In Christ Jesus Name, Amen.