It has been an eventful summer for our family. In May, we sold our house in town and moved into an RV for the summer. The plan was to look for a place outside of town to buy, and in the meantime, save money and pay down debt.
Less than a week after we moved into our RV, my husband left on a mission’s trip to Uganda. And two weeks after he came home, we discovered we were pregnant! This was a big deal and not at all what we were planning or expecting. My last pregnancy was four and a half years ago, and it ended in a miscarriage.
I felt a little like the Shunnamite woman. You find her story in 2 Kings 4. In fact, not long after we found out we were pregnant, God directed both my husband and I to this story in Scripture. Elisha came and prophesied that she would have a son before the year was up. Her response was, “No, my lord, O man of God, do not lie to your maidservant.” This was more than likely something she had once hoped for but had now given up on thinking her time was past. I felt much the same.
Have you ever been given a promise that almost didn’t seem real? This has been the last couple of months for me. Even though we have ultrasounds that show a healthy viable pregnancy, I found myself living almost in survival mode- just getting through the day. With so much up in the air and having yet to find a permanent place of residence, it has felt as though I am living a dream.
Living a dream and at the same time afraid to dream. Just recently, God convicted my heart about this. He showed me that my inability to dream and live in hope about the life inside of me or even a future home was an indicator of how little I actually trusted Him. Ouch!
He calls us to an abundant life – not just survival mode. He calls us to live in hope. In fact, He IS our hope. The word hope means to anticipate with pleasure; a confident expectation of good.
Do you find yourself sometimes living in survival mode? Are you just trying to make it through the day? Your Good Father is inviting you to live the abundant life of joyful expectation that is found only when you understand who He is and specifically who He is for you in the middle of your current circumstances. All it takes is a simple shift of focus. Take your eyes off the impossibilities around you and place them on Jesus, the One who does the impossible.
So, I am in a process. I’m learning to dream again. I’m allowing myself to focus on the feeling of holding a beautiful, healthy baby in my arms in our own home. My God is bigger than the what ifs or might nots, and because my trust is in Him, I can dream big and live in joyful expectation even in the midst of the unexpected.
God, thank You for all You are. Thank You for constantly giving, even when it seems past our time to receive. Help each of us to continue to dream and more importantly, continue to trust You in all situations. Bless each person reading this and help them to hear You, trust You, and continue to hope in You. Amen.