Many of you already know me. I am the founder and president of Titus II Woman Ministry, but before all that came to be I was just Tara. No title. No agenda. No book. I was Tara DeMaris, wife, mother, sister, friend. I was a woman just trying to find her way and asking God for help along the journey. It took me a while to hear His voice and discern what he was saying to me and the instructions he was giving. You see, I am the type that sometimes needs a good hit upside the head to get it.
I asked and asked what God wanted from me. Begged really. The thing is, God spoke to me, but because it wasn’t what I thought I would do with my life, I didn’t hear him; or maybe I just didn’t want to. I really wanted to hear that I would be a great author or a singer or … been there?
I have often been in a place of question and thinking that God will tell me exactly what I am thinking for myself. Well, guess what? That’s not how God words. God has his own agenda, and honestly, he doesn’t so much care what we want when it isn’t in His will for our lives. God has a way of making things happen the way He sees fit and then letting us think it was our idea. Are ya with me? Oh, yes!
When God told me to start a women’s ministry I dismissed it immediately. No way! I was not the woman for THAT job. Seriously! Who did He think I was? I hated being surrounded by women I didn’t know because I felt so judged and alone. I was not comfortable in this scene, and I had no idea how to be a leader of women. Now, give me a room full of teenagers and I can handle that. They at least looked at me like I knew what I was talking about.
Seven long years of a continual search of what I was supposed to do with my life and it was always the same answer, but one day I had no more excuses to use of why I was not the right woman for this job, and I finally said “OKAY!” I pretty much screamed it. No, I really did scream it. More out of frustration because I was tired of always getting the same answer. Maybe if I agreed, God would change his mind and give me something else. Something I was more ready for. HA!
It’s been a journey for sure. Maybe quest is the better word because I have been on a continual quest for God. I am looking for him in places I never knew existed. I am straining to hear his voice in daily decisions and conversations with others. I so desperately want to please him and glorify him, that I just want to know that I am doing this alright.
Then, I remember that God called me to be willing, not perfect. I am not going to get this ministry “right” all the time. I won’t always have great ideas. (Seriously, I need some help in this area!) I won’t always know the answers to questions presented to me, and I am going to need help. Most of all I am going to NEED to and MUST trust that God has a plan in this and He isn’t always going to reveal it me all at once. There are even seasons of rest or quiet when in ministry and they aren’t always convenient.
Today, be encouraged that you are not the only one seeking, straining, or hoping. You are never alone in this quest, this journey, to find what God is asking of you. You are surrounded by women who understand. Titus II Woman Ministry is the best example. Our diverse team is filled with women who are living a normal day to day life with family and jobs, in search of what God wants next from us. We get up and go to our jobs and take care of our families and homes. We go about a normal day, but we all have this quest in common; the Titus II Woman quest. This is what He has asked of us for now. We are grateful. We are blessed. Not many know that God has called us all to be Titus II Women.
Be encouraged that you are surrounded by the many women who believe in you and what God is doing and going to do with your life. AND thank you. Thank you for supporting our ministry together. Thank you for reading our words and sharing them on your pages. Thank you for engaging in conversations with us and praying for us. Without you we would not be in ministry at all.
Before I leave you today, I want to say a prayer over you: Lord, this life, created by You, was never meant to be walked alone. You gave us companionship and love so that we would never feel alone. Thank you for that. The friendships that we have built and the comfort we have been given is priceless. I ask that You continue to guide this path we walk. Shine a light in the way You want us to go and take our hand as we walk together with You. Blessed be Your Name, Amen.
Blessings to you all this new year of 2018!