This is an excerpt from a piece I wrote well over a year ago. I did not want to post too close to either of the holidays I struggled with. So you may find it odd that I choose to publish an article about Mother’s Day and Father’s Day in March, right before Easter. I have come to realize that it is important to prepare my heart well in advance, so I can have the right attitude and response as the calendar pages turn. But I wasn’t always “Miss Preparedness” on this subject because, as is typical with me, I procrastinated the whole “putting myself out there” thing and just kept editing and re-editing this article, as well as burying it under a list of tasks I felt were much more pressing. I didn’t want to admit to anyone how much I struggled with envy during May and June. Though I find difficult chapters in life are easier to talk about rather than write about, and I love to write . . . it is healing . . . I still kept putting it off over and over again . . . go figure. But alas, God didn’t let me off so easily, and He continued to remind me how burdened I felt to share my experiences and how important it is for me to encourage others who may have similar struggles . . . so here it is:
I will give you a VERY concise and abbreviated family background. Sadly, both of my parents grappled with the evil of alcoholism, were married and divorced numerous times, and are now deceased. While they were alive, our relationship suffered greatly, to say the least. So, unfortunately, the “happily ever after” of their healing and our reconciliation, which I longed for and prayed about for many years, didn’t materialize. What did happen is, through that trial, I learned to REJOICE!
WAIT . . . What? REJOICE? Why? How?
Yes, REJOICE, because I know I have a FATHER, who loves me unconditionally. God has been SO GOOD to me, even when others weren’t. He NEVER left me, even when others did. In this life it has taken me a while to realize . . .
HIS Love Was (and Still Is) ENOUGH!
“Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice.” Philippians 4:4
If you struggle in your relationship with your parents, you’re not alone. The best piece of advice I can give you is FOCUS ON STRENGTHENING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD, RIGHT NOW. (And if you currently have an amazing relationship with your parents, my advice is still the same, for you will need that strong relationship with God when those parents leave this earth.)
I will be very candid with you and admit I have sinfully and selfishly thought MANY times of others, “Must be nice to have a wonderful relationship with your mom or dad that you miss.” Or “At least you had a good relationship while they were here, be grateful for that because some of us weren’t so lucky.” Now thankfully, I NEVER spoke any of those thoughts out loud to anyone dealing with a loss. But nonetheless, they were inconsiderate and sinful thoughts of a hurt and jealous daughter. You could say I was ‘green with envy’ of many of my friends and acquaintances during these holidays. I struggled being happy for them.
While I don’t miss the relationship we had (it was far less than ideal or desirable in so many ways), I do ENJOY the relationship I have with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for His Love for me and I hope it is obvious in my life.
If your relationship with either of your parents has hurt you in any way, I urge you to let God fill up the voids they have left, He is the ONLY one who will fit perfectly.
If this resonates with you at all, know it is okay . . . no, actually, it’s more than okay! Please keep “hanging in there” with God at the helm, and you will be victorious on the other side of this struggle, this trial which never seems to end. And you too can say, “I am Victorious In Christ!” Actually, go ahead and say it right now . . . “I AM VICTORIOUS IN CHRIST!” Because, my friend, you are. HE HAS ALREADY WON YOUR BATTLE!
“For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.” 1 John 5:4
Thank you for letting me share a little slice of my heart and life experience as I commit to write more to help and encourage many others in the near future.
You are loved by an Almighty God.
“Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” Hebrews 13:5
Much Love, Hope and Rejoicing,