Earlier this winter, after years of study, I obtained my Ministry certificate. What does that mean? I have no idea. I honestly feel like I have been paralyzed with fear to begin anything. I’ve been doing this one thing for so long, I’m not sure how to start a new thing. It’s like staring at a blank page of beautiful heavyweight paper and a pretty pen. You want so badly to create something beautiful, but pen is permanent and its hard to cover up mistakes…. so I draw nothing.
My “go to” objective in times like this is to call forth life and purpose in others the way God sees it. I’m always praying to see what God sees, to hear his voice, and follow him. I figure I can always be an encourager; that’s pretty fool proof. I’m usually pretty shy, introverted by nature, so I tend to minister to my friends and church family. Well, the only way to know what you are capable of is to be thrown out of your comfort zone. Oh, and God is the one who created that plan. Do you feel a story coming?
A few weeks back, I had the joy of going to the grocery story solo! Ah, to be alone and think about my list. As I was walking through the isles I noticed a woman walking around the checkouts, talking to someone who obviously wasn’t there. I looked her way, she looked at me, and I just smiled compassionately and continued shopping. But something felt off, so I just prayed, not sure what for.
As I reached the check out I told the cashier I needed to exchange some water bottles, so the cashier called up the manager to help with the transaction. The strange woman was coming closer to me. I smiled and tried to ignore her, but my spirit was on fire, so I was praying overtime. Lord, don’t fail me now.I told the manager, “There is nothing wrong with the bottles, just decided not to use them.”
The woman responded, “Are you speaking through me?” as she was looking at me. Um, did you just say through or to?
“No, I’m not,” I responded as kindly as I could, still not making eye contact. I continued to remove the remaining things from my cart as this woman was mocking me, copying my movements and aggressively teasing me that I was “miss congeniality.” All this time, sticking with my task and avoiding eye contact, and trying to calm my heart rate.
At this point, she is standing right in front of my cart, like a basketball player ready to block, legs spread steady, ready to fight.
My cart was empty and I needed her to move so I could move my cart so the cashier could re-fill it with my items.
“Excuse me, ma’am, I need to move my cart,” I told her as calmly and steady as possible.
She didn’t reply, so the manager chimed in, “Excuse me, ma’am, we need you to move so we can put her items in the cart.”
“Well, how are you going to do that with me in the way?” She responded very aggressively.
Light bulb moment! I knew what this was. Lord, you are letting me see what you see. What do you want me to do? What should I do? How much of a scene do you want me to make? Wait, this isn’t church…. I don’t want this to get messy. I felt the Lord tell me I had nothing to fear.
So, I looked up in her eyes, her right eye had a very distinct streak in it, and as confidently as I could I told her….
“I’m not afraid of you.”
“How could you be with all of that protection?”
Then she walked away, my heart beating, and my spirit reeling. Wait, what? Protection? Was she talking about the manager, or something else I couldn’t see? Then I remembered Elisha’s prayer for his servant in 2 Kings 6:17. And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, LORD, so that he may see.” Then the LORD opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.
I’M NOT AFRAID!!! Lord, let me see as you see, let me be your agent of change, to free those in bondage, and show others what YOU see in them- in and OUT of church. I spent my drive to Cost-Co praying for this woman, who is obviously in bondage. But I left knowing that I don’t need to be afraid to minister wherever He has called me, I’m protected, even if I can’t see it or feel it, the devil can.
Sarah is from Brandon, SD and is the mother of three. She has been married to her Sweetheart, Lewis, for nearly two decades and loves Christ with everything within her. Her passion is to reach hearts for Christ and be in God’s will with everything she does.